Loneliness is a curious thing. Most of us can remember feeling most lonely when we were not in fact lonely at all,.but when we were surrounded by people. Everyone has experienced, at some 1 time, that utter sense of isolation that comes over you when you are at a party.
It suddenly seems to you as if everybody knows everybody; everybody, that is, except you. This feeling of loneliness, which can overcome you when you are in a crowd, is very difficult to get rid of. People living alone are advised to tackle their loneliness by joining a club or a society, by going out and meeting people. Does this really help? There are no easy solutions. Your first day at work or at a new school is a typical situation in which you are likely to feel lonely. You feel lonely because you feel left out of things. You feel that everybody else is full of confidence and knows what to do, but you are helpless.
The fact of the matter is that, in order to survive, we all put on a show of self-confidence to hide our uncertainties and doubts. Therefore, it is wrong to assume that you are alone. The trouble is that you may not be able to hide the fact that you are lonely, and the miserable look on your face might put people off. Thus, trying to look reasonably cheerful is a good starting point to combat loneliness.
The next thing to avoid is finding yourself in a group where you are a stranger; that is, you are in the sort of group where all the people already know each other. There is a natural tendency for people to stick together. You will do yourself no good by trying to establish yourself in a group which has so far managed to do very well without you. Groups generally resent intrusion, not because they dislike you personally, but because they have already had to work quite hard to turn the group into a functioning unit. To include you means having to go over a lot of ground again, so that you can learn their ‘language’ and get involved in their conversation at their level.
In fact, the surest way of getting to know others is to have an interest in common with them. There is no guarantee that you will then like each other, but at least part of your life will be filled with sharing experiences with others. It is much better than feeling alone. If all this seems to be a rather pessimistic view of life, you have to accept the fact that we are all actually alone and that loneliness is sometimes unavoidable.